I think my fart just growled at me.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Shame is for Republicans.
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