i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize