You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
