I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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