I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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