There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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