Your tits are I can't wait for
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
