i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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