the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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