I looked at my own cervix.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
