I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
