i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
