I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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