We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
