He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
