He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
