this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
