he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
