I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
