We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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