i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
