There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
