He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
