I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
