FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
