his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
