If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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