I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
