I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
