once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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