if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize