doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Every concussion has its silver lining
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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