Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
