That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
