He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
