Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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