of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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