Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
