the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
