halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
