He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
