paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
