I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
