so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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