I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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