what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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