Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize