I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
PANTIES FOUND
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