i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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