Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
