I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
