Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
