planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Everything about him screamed your future.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
