So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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