No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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