butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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