I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
