True but thats because hes a fetus.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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