WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
