Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
