About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
