it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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