Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
