id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
