no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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