a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
