Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
