Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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