My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
